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Today is the day that exactly 0.0032% of the American population — yes, this is a highly scientific measurement — has been waiting for with bated breath: the arrival of Alli. True to the hype, it arrived in grand fashion with its own personal GSK escort — who would later remark that there was no way in hell he'd ever take it himself — in the early afternoon. There had been 3 inquiries about it that morning; all women clutching brochures in their sweaty little paws.
I'm convinced we need to locate this stuff near the diapers, but the store managers all think I'm crazy. Well maybe they should try it. At $60 a pack, maybe we could get a buy-one-get-one sale going. Buy a box of Alli, get a small package of adult diapers for FREE. Win-win, right?
Anyway, so it's here, and it's going to sell moderately well in my home store, which is mostly white middle class. In another of my stores it's going to be kept behind the counter so it won't get stolen. Oh the fun with demographics.
Last week we were accidentally giving away the Alli book for free for almost two days before we realized that they were $6 a whack. Oops. I was wondering how the hell the drug company could afford to give away these beautiful, glossy books — that're nicer than my therapeutics textbooks, by the way — for free when we don't even know how well Alli will do in the long-term. Then I remembered that the drugmakers are Big and Evil, and didn't feel so bad anymore.
I fully expect lots of short-term interest during the first few months, and maybe a couple of Fox News specials on high-profile people shitting their pants unexpectedly — "Paris Hilton messes herself in sundress just days after getting out of jail! Is Alli to blame? News at 11!" — complete with low-quality footage garnered mostly from YouTube that'll show up years later on America's LamestFunniest Home Videos with Bob Sagat.
Oh yes, I expect lots of comedy. Who can resist a good fart joke every now and again?
What's really funny — haha — is that a month's worth of phentermine is cheaper than a pack of OTC Alli, even if you're paying out of pocket. And you won't even need diapers. Amazing!
[tags]Alli, orlistat, dieting, weightloss[/tags]
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